you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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