Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
