New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
