She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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