Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
