...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
