Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
