Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
