Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
