Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
