"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
