Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
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Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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