Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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