I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
