I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
