Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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