Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
