we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
