I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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