Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
