oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Randomize
