She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
