are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
