i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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