What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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