Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
