your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
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She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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