im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
