We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
