genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
