i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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