so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
