Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
