The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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