forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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