She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize