my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
