i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We have started to decorate penises.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
