You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
