is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
