the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
