love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
