i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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