I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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