Christians are straight up FREAKS
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
