I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
