i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
