I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
