If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
