Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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