so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
