try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
