im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize