I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
