he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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