I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
