i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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