So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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