I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize