I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
