Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Are my feet made of real feet?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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